WHAT DID THE POLICEMAN SAY TO THE CONDOM,
COVER ME I'M GOING IN
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the woman at the window, " I want to open a damn checking account."
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account now!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank."
The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to inform him of her situation. The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to the window and the manager asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"
"There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won $50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank."
"I see," says the manager, "and is this bitch giving you a hard time?"
By: OMAR JARKAS
one day a little jimmy asks his mother "what does gay mean" his mother doesn't want to tell him the truth because its a bad word to learn so she lies to him and says " it means uncle" the next day little jimmy asks his mother " what does dick means" the mother lies again because she doesn't want him to learn these bad words so she says" chair". next morning little jimmy asks his mother "what does sperm mean" the mother lies again and says" it me ".
one evining the mother was on the top floor having a shower and suddenly the bell rings , so little jimmy opens the door and sees his uncle so he tells him "hi gay, sit on my dick so the sperm can come down"
One day at the hospital, there was these 3 husbands, who were each waiting for thier 3 wives who were birthing their babies. So after a few hours, the doctor comes in the waiting room to tell the first man his news the doctor says " Congratulations, your wife just had twins"! The man was very happy and said " What a coinsidence ,I work for twin pines". Next the doctor goes back and comes again to tell the second man then the doctor says " Congratulations, your wife just had triplets"! The second man was happy and replied " What a coinsidence i work for AAA ( triple A )"! Then the doctor come in for the third time to tell the third man his news, while the doctor is coming into the waiting room he sees the third man running away out the door. The doctor shouts to him " Don't you want to know your news"? The third man shouts back " No thanks, I work for 7 11 ( seven - eleven). Then the doctor starts to walk away and says to the two other guys, " Oh well he is the loser his wife only had one baby anyways"!
The man from Homs was visiting the Golden Beach. He was enjoying the ocean view with several of his friends. He was concentrating very hard and grew very quiet. His friends asked him what he was thinking so hard about and he exclaimed "I wonder if the ocean was Laban "Yogurt", how many Kebbi would fit in it".
There is a boy called Tommy. His teacher asked the students in his class who wants to go to Heaven? Everybody raised their hands except Tommy.
The teacher said why don't you want to go to Heaven? Tommy said cause mum told me to come right back from school to home!!
Q : Do u know how to make a homsi busy for a week??
A : Give him a paper and write on its both sides read on the other side ;o)
yo mama is so fat that when she went on a diet burger king went out of buisness.
TOP 10 REASONS BASKETBALL IS BETTER THAN SEX...
10. BALL MOVEMENT IS KEY
9. YOU CAN SET IT UP OR GO FOR THE FASTBREAK
8. IF YOU NEED A BREAK, YOU CAN CALL A 20 SECOND TIMEOUT
7. THERE IS A COACH TELLING YOU WHEN TO "TAKE IT TO THE HOLE"
6. BEING DOUBLE-TEAMED IS COMMON
5. YOU CAN PASS IT OFF, SO YOUR BUDDY CAN SCORE
4. IF SCOUTS LIKE YOUR PERFORMANCE, YOU TURN PRO
3. YOU KNOW YOU ARE DONE WHEN THE HORN SOUNDS
2. YOU ALWAYS TRY TO SCORE WITHIN 24 SECONDS
1. THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEONE WITH A TOWEL TO CLEAN UP ANY WET SPOTS
What does the British girl say when she have sex? "o o o"... The American girl? "i i i"... The Arabic girl??..... "Please don't tell anybody"
Hey, do you know the REAL reason the government jails people for theft?
It's because they don't want any competition.
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent."
"As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting, because they don't smell and are quite silent."
The doctor says, "I see. Please take two of these pills each day, and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady comes back.
"Doctor", she says, "I don't know what you gave me, but now my farts - though still silent- really stink terribly."
The doctor replies, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing... "
Words About Marriage:
- When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him
- Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest? They cheat in Europe.
- The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once
The First guy proudly says to his friend, "My wife's an angel!" The Second guy answers, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
The Young Son says to his dad, ''Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'' The father replied, ''That happens in every country, son.''