By: Shane Hageman
There were three presidents on the titanic, George Washington, Richard Nickson, and Bill Clinton the ship hits an iceberg and George Washington calls out "women and children first" Nickson says "screw the women" Bill asks "think we have time?"
A guy was taking a shower in the gym after working out, one of his buddies noticed a cork in his butt, and asked him why u have that cork in your butt? The guy said Oh it is permanent.
How that happened? his buddy asked.
The cork guy told him I was walking on the beach last Sunday, I found an old lamp on the sand, picked it up, wiped it . genie came out among the smoke told me you have one request. it well be done whatever it is, just ask.
And then I really got surprised, and I said NO Shi--
1- what is the similarity between a shrimp and a man? you
can enjoy all but the head
2- what is the similarity between a microwave and a man?
they both get hot in 15 seconds
3- why are batteries better than man? Batteries have at
least one positive end.
4- what do you call an attractive, intelligent and
sensitive man? A rumor.
By: muhammad fey jahsh
once a student wanted to use the bathroom so he asks the teacher and the teacher says do you know the first six alphabet he said no. so that day he goes to his mom she is having a bad day and asks her whats the first letter she says shut up you old rat he says thanx so then he goes to his little brother and asks him what the second letter of the alphabet his little brother is watching batman so he says nanana batmaan he says thanx so then he goes to his older sister and she is talking to her boy friend from her window and hen the boy asks her whats the third letter of the alphabet and her boy friend says to his older sister do you want to go to the beach so then she says ok alrught than the little boy says thanx so then the boy goes to his father and his father is taking out the trash and the boy asks him whats the fourth alphabet he says trash trash trash nothing but trash he says thanks so then he goes to his uncle and he is doing push ups and asked him is the the fifth letter he says 50 60 70 80 90 100 the boy say thanx then he goes to his aunt and his aunt is cooking and asks her whats the six letter she says my but is hurting so then he said thanx
so the next day he goes to school and the teacher asks him what is the first letter he says shut up you old rat then the teacher said who do you think you are he says nanana batmaan then he says want me to send you to the princeple office he says ok sure then the principle asks him what do you think of school he says trash trash trash nothing but trash then the princple calls hid dad to come then his dad comes and said the little boy how many times should I beat you he says 60 70 80 90 100 so then the dad is beating the boy up and the boy says my butt is hurting my butt is hurting
By: muhammad min souria wa al-lebnan
there was a american an italian and a chinese about to cross a bridge. then a sea monster pops out of the water and says if you cross the bridge and dont fart i will not eat you and if you fart i will eat you.
so then the american is crossing the bridge and farts
then the italian crosses the bridge and farts so the sea monster eats both of them then the chinese crosses and doesn't fart and he says
me chinese me no dumb me stick cork up my bum
There was a kid named "none of your business"and he had a brother named "your brain".your brain went to buy Falafel. none of you business went to a new school.the teacher asked whats your name he said none of you business. then the teacher said we're going to the principal. the principal said whats your name? he said none of your business then he asked wheres your brain? he answerd, he went to buy Falafel!
The Theacher asked to ABED what's the # that follows 3? he replied 4(teacher said him bravo)
what's the # that follows 7? he replied 8(again he got a bravo)
at the end the teacher asked him what's the # that follows 10? he replied "Jack,Queen,King,Ace".
Condom says to Kotex, "When you work, I lose seven days of business."
Kotex replies, "If you fail to work once, my business stops for nine months!"
Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!"
Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a NEW ONE every morning!"
By: Ziad Shmali
A Sheikh from Qatar met his friend whom he haven't seen for a while : Where have you been my friend? - " Oh... I was holidaying in Europe .." replied the other than continued :" u should go yourself, there is sex for as many as u wish.. blonde, brunette, tall, short .. no matter what it is.." . The Sheikh here decided to go, so he purchased an airline ticket on the British Airways looking ahead to have a good time with plenty of sex. When he got into the plane he has been given the green card to fill up. He started writing : Name...., Surname... Address... Age:45,Sex: verygood???. afterwards when the stewardess checked the cards she back to him to clarify the information that he wrote. and when she asked him : " your answer to the " sex " question was : very good". He replied immediatly and proudly :" yes .. very very good". she laughed on him and said :" that's not what the question means, the question is Male or Female ", the Sheikh replied : No difference.. both alright.
A homsi told his friend: if you know what I have in my pocket I will give you a fish the other one said: yes I know... SEA!
WHY DID HAYFA LIKE THIS WINTER ???
BECAUSE IT WAS TALLLLLL AND HARD ...
By: jasmine naamou
why did the homsi ware pointey shose 2 kill the roch in the conner.lol
Once a pilot was flying his shift, after he reached the wanted altitude he spoke to the passengers via the internal mic to release there seats belts, after that he forgot to switch that mic off, and turn to his co pilot saying, you know Tom, now after we switch the auto-pilot I could enjoy a nice cop of coffee and a blow jop,,
the stewrdess rushed to the cockpit to warn the pilot about the internal mic, but one of the passengers said,, Hee honey don't forget the coffee,,,,
By: TeLia / bAmSe`
A US soldier who served in Iraq called his mother by phone.
Once his mom answered the call, he starts kissing the phone as a gesture for kissing his mom
"moa moa moa ......"
"Thank you sweety..." the mom said
But the soldier continued kissing " moa moa moa moa moa moa moa moa moa moa. ........"
He did the kissing for 24 million times!
"What this kisses all about?" The mom said.
He said "Those kisses are on behalf of the Iraqi people. They love you so much."
"How did you know that?" the mother wandered.
He said "When ever I meet Iraqis, they keep telling me "KISS OMMAK"