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Jokes Sorted by Rate (793 Available)
By: rahela reka
a new pupil came to a new school to study.he asked the new teacher:is this a good thing to do something bad to someone who has done nothing?the teacher said?no never!and the pupil answered:ok,thank u,because today i haven't done my homework:-)))
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a new pupil came to a new school to study.he asked the new teacher:is this a good thing to do something bad to someone who has done nothing?the teacher said?no never!and the pupil answered:ok,thank u,because today i haven't done my homework:-)))
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By: bashabisho
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics.
"Crap!"
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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics.
"Crap!"
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By: saleh (ghaleb reda)
Once a homsi wanted to evolve the helicopter so he puts an air-conditioner instaed of a fan.
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Once a homsi wanted to evolve the helicopter so he puts an air-conditioner instaed of a fan.
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By: Malek
Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
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Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
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By: Ramia Kamaria
A homsi went to a taylor with a piece of cloth. He asked the taylor if he can make him a suit out of the cloth he bought. The taylor said, "no, the cloth is too small." Then the guy went to another taylor. He asked the second taylor if the piece of cloth is enough to make a suit. The second taylor said, "yes, it is enough." One week later, he came back to the taylor to get the suit. He asked the second taylor, "was the cloth enough to make the suit?" The taylor replied, "yes, do you see the suit that my seven year old son is wearing?" "Yes, the homsi replied. "I made that suit for him out of the cloth that was leftover from your suit." "Wow", said the homsi. "Why did the first taylor tell me it wasn't enough." "I don't know", said the second taylor. That same day, the homsi went back to the first taylor and asked him, "why did you tell me that the cloth wasn't enough for my suit. I went to another taylor after that and he made a suit for me and a suit for his seven year old son." The first taylor answered, "Yeah, his son is seven but my son is fourteen
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A homsi went to a taylor with a piece of cloth. He asked the taylor if he can make him a suit out of the cloth he bought. The taylor said, "no, the cloth is too small." Then the guy went to another taylor. He asked the second taylor if the piece of cloth is enough to make a suit. The second taylor said, "yes, it is enough." One week later, he came back to the taylor to get the suit. He asked the second taylor, "was the cloth enough to make the suit?" The taylor replied, "yes, do you see the suit that my seven year old son is wearing?" "Yes, the homsi replied. "I made that suit for him out of the cloth that was leftover from your suit." "Wow", said the homsi. "Why did the first taylor tell me it wasn't enough." "I don't know", said the second taylor. That same day, the homsi went back to the first taylor and asked him, "why did you tell me that the cloth wasn't enough for my suit. I went to another taylor after that and he made a suit for me and a suit for his seven year old son." The first taylor answered, "Yeah, his son is seven but my son is fourteen
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By: asfoor
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f--- your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job
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A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f--- your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job
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By: Imaaaaaaaad
A woman and three men carpool everyday. On the past Monday, it was the
woman's term to drive. While on the freeway, a highway patrolman
stopped the car and the conversation was as follow.
Patrolman: "Miss, do you know you were driving too slow, like only 35 mph?"
Woman: "Officier, I thought the post sign said 35 mph!."
Patrolman: "No Miss, that sign means this is Highway 35, and not 35
mph. The speed limit is the other sign which is 65 mph."
Woman: "Oh, I see. No wonder why the three guys were shaking and
closed all their eyes when I was driving on Highway 111."
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A woman and three men carpool everyday. On the past Monday, it was the
woman's term to drive. While on the freeway, a highway patrolman
stopped the car and the conversation was as follow.
Patrolman: "Miss, do you know you were driving too slow, like only 35 mph?"
Woman: "Officier, I thought the post sign said 35 mph!."
Patrolman: "No Miss, that sign means this is Highway 35, and not 35
mph. The speed limit is the other sign which is 65 mph."
Woman: "Oh, I see. No wonder why the three guys were shaking and
closed all their eyes when I was driving on Highway 111."
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By: DEDE
THEY were 2 people from Aleppo and they were fighting the first person said that is sun and the second person said no that is moon and then a Homsi walk next to them and ask them why you are fighting for ??? and they said what is that is that moon or is that sun ?he said i am not from this city
hahahahahahhahahhaaa.
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THEY were 2 people from Aleppo and they were fighting the first person said that is sun and the second person said no that is moon and then a Homsi walk next to them and ask them why you are fighting for ??? and they said what is that is that moon or is that sun ?he said i am not from this city
hahahahahahhahahhaaa.
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By: Diane E
How does a homsi thinks he won the lottery?
He buys the ticket with the winning numbers the day after the lottery.
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How does a homsi thinks he won the lottery?
He buys the ticket with the winning numbers the day after the lottery.
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By: Clever Homsi
5 homsi men decided to visit Damascus for the first time in their lives. After they have arrived to the garage, they started walking in the streets with no specific goal in mind. But after a couple of hours of continous walking they have reached a small farm near Harasta, they were so tired that they could not walk any more.they met the farm owner and bought five donkeys from him and they ride the animals and took the right way to Damascus. They entered damscus, but as we know it is very croudy in Damascus and they made things worst. The policeman saw them and shouted: hee hee guys, what the hell are you doing here with your donkeys. with surprise they answered we do not know, the donkeys are leading us. The police man said:what donkeys are leading you to this croudy places, I am sure that you are from Homs.They replaied: yes you are right but the donkeys are from Damascus.
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5 homsi men decided to visit Damascus for the first time in their lives. After they have arrived to the garage, they started walking in the streets with no specific goal in mind. But after a couple of hours of continous walking they have reached a small farm near Harasta, they were so tired that they could not walk any more.they met the farm owner and bought five donkeys from him and they ride the animals and took the right way to Damascus. They entered damscus, but as we know it is very croudy in Damascus and they made things worst. The policeman saw them and shouted: hee hee guys, what the hell are you doing here with your donkeys. with surprise they answered we do not know, the donkeys are leading us. The police man said:what donkeys are leading you to this croudy places, I am sure that you are from Homs.They replaied: yes you are right but the donkeys are from Damascus.
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By: zOOz
An American, a Brit and an Iraqi are in a bar one night having a beer. The Yankee drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In the States our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice." The Brit obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Britain we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either." The Iraqi, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the American and the Brit. He says "In Baghdad we have so many Americans and Brits that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."
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An American, a Brit and an Iraqi are in a bar one night having a beer. The Yankee drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In the States our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice." The Brit obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Britain we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either." The Iraqi, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the American and the Brit. He says "In Baghdad we have so many Americans and Brits that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."
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By: Princess4Life
A Syrian walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He says he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the Syrian hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, he has the title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at him for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Syrian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The ٍSyrian replies. "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?".
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A Syrian walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He says he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the Syrian hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, he has the title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at him for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Syrian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The ٍSyrian replies. "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?".
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By: ???????????
Three guys, a jew, a latakian and an halaby are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total" says the Genie.
The latakian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in latakia." With a blink of the Genie's eye,'FOOM' the land in latakia was forever made fertile for farming.
The jew was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around isreal, so that no foreigners can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around isreal.
The halaby asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the state. Nothing can get in or out." The halaby says, "My wish is that you fill it up with water."
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Three guys, a jew, a latakian and an halaby are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total" says the Genie.
The latakian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in latakia." With a blink of the Genie's eye,'FOOM' the land in latakia was forever made fertile for farming.
The jew was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around isreal, so that no foreigners can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around isreal.
The halaby asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the state. Nothing can get in or out." The halaby says, "My wish is that you fill it up with water."
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