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Jokes Sorted by Rate (793 Available)
By: ZoOoZ
A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell, because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill:
"Are you Mrs. Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the man from the electric company.
"What are you saying? It's in your files?????"
"Absolutely."
"Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight."
That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to the electric company offices the first thing the next morning.
"What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? and if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."
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A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell, because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill:
"Are you Mrs. Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the man from the electric company.
"What are you saying? It's in your files?????"
"Absolutely."
"Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight."
That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to the electric company offices the first thing the next morning.
"What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? and if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."
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By: katia
What's z difference between women @ the ages of 8, 18, 28, 38, 48 & 58?
08 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.
18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.
28 - You don't need to tell her any story and take her to bed.
38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
58 - You stay in bed all day to avoid her story.
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What's z difference between women @ the ages of 8, 18, 28, 38, 48 & 58?
08 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.
18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.
28 - You don't need to tell her any story and take her to bed.
38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
58 - You stay in bed all day to avoid her story.
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By: Noaf al ghantoos
There was a "Mukhabarat" convention in New York. There was a contest between the mukhabarat of 3 countries: America, Russia, and Syria. They had to go out in a feild and find a rabbit. The American CIA went first, and they had no luck. The Russian KGB went out and they could't find the rabbit, either. Then the Syrian Mukhabarat went out and were gone for hours. the members of the meeting went to look for them, and they found 4 mukhabarat guys beating a donkey telling it "Qul inak arnab!" (confess that your a rabbit!"
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There was a "Mukhabarat" convention in New York. There was a contest between the mukhabarat of 3 countries: America, Russia, and Syria. They had to go out in a feild and find a rabbit. The American CIA went first, and they had no luck. The Russian KGB went out and they could't find the rabbit, either. Then the Syrian Mukhabarat went out and were gone for hours. the members of the meeting went to look for them, and they found 4 mukhabarat guys beating a donkey telling it "Qul inak arnab!" (confess that your a rabbit!"
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By: MINOOO
A DOCTOR TELLS A HOMSI, MILK IS GOOD FOR YOUR TEETH, SO WAT DOES THIS HOMSI DO??? STARTS BRUSHING HIS TEETH WITH MILK!!!!
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A DOCTOR TELLS A HOMSI, MILK IS GOOD FOR YOUR TEETH, SO WAT DOES THIS HOMSI DO??? STARTS BRUSHING HIS TEETH WITH MILK!!!!
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By: eddibers
there was a villiage which was about to flood. all the people knew that, so they escaped to higher grounds. there was one man who didn't want to go so he stayed on the roof of is house. his neighbours came and urged him to escape with them. but the man said " i believe in God. I believe that He will help me." so the people left him. they came back later and did the same thing but he stiil refused. then the viliage started to flood a little bit. some firefighters went on a boat and went to the man who refused. they, too, urged him to go with them to safety. but he said " i believe in God. I believe that He will save me." so the firefighters left him. a helicopter came and urged him to go with them to safety. he refused again for the same reason. so then the viliage flooded and the man died. when he went to heaven, he got very angry at God. so he wnt to God and asked Him "hey God, i believed in You. i believed that You would save me. but you didn't!" then God said "but I did help you. in fact i helped you 3 times: i sent the neighbors, the firefighters and the helicopter!"
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there was a villiage which was about to flood. all the people knew that, so they escaped to higher grounds. there was one man who didn't want to go so he stayed on the roof of is house. his neighbours came and urged him to escape with them. but the man said " i believe in God. I believe that He will help me." so the people left him. they came back later and did the same thing but he stiil refused. then the viliage started to flood a little bit. some firefighters went on a boat and went to the man who refused. they, too, urged him to go with them to safety. but he said " i believe in God. I believe that He will save me." so the firefighters left him. a helicopter came and urged him to go with them to safety. he refused again for the same reason. so then the viliage flooded and the man died. when he went to heaven, he got very angry at God. so he wnt to God and asked Him "hey God, i believed in You. i believed that You would save me. but you didn't!" then God said "but I did help you. in fact i helped you 3 times: i sent the neighbors, the firefighters and the helicopter!"
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By: dano
an old man married a young lady,after the party they entered their room ,then he showed her the five fingers of his hand ,she said wow five times ! he said no u have to choose a finger !!!
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an old man married a young lady,after the party they entered their room ,then he showed her the five fingers of his hand ,she said wow five times ! he said no u have to choose a finger !!!
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By: OMAR JARKAS
one day a little jimmy asks his mother "what does gay mean" his mother doesn't want to tell him the truth because its a bad word to learn so she lies to him and says " it means uncle" the next day little jimmy asks his mother " what does dick means" the mother lies again because she doesn't want him to learn these bad words so she says" chair". next morning little jimmy asks his mother "what does sperm mean" the mother lies again and says" it me ".
one evining the mother was on the top floor having a shower and suddenly the bell rings , so little jimmy opens the door and sees his uncle so he tells him "hi gay, sit on my dick so the sperm can come down"
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one day a little jimmy asks his mother "what does gay mean" his mother doesn't want to tell him the truth because its a bad word to learn so she lies to him and says " it means uncle" the next day little jimmy asks his mother " what does dick means" the mother lies again because she doesn't want him to learn these bad words so she says" chair". next morning little jimmy asks his mother "what does sperm mean" the mother lies again and says" it me ".
one evining the mother was on the top floor having a shower and suddenly the bell rings , so little jimmy opens the door and sees his uncle so he tells him "hi gay, sit on my dick so the sperm can come down"
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By: nancy
ont time a homsi went to his shami friend to let the shami teach him how to let girls go with him so the shami took the homsi to a place where there are many girls and then the shami said"who ever can know the number i'm thinking on will go with me " one girl said "5" the shami said "true, come with me" when homsi went to homs he met some girls in the street so he asked them" who ever can know the number i'm thinking on will go with me " one girl said"11" homsi said " no 5"
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ont time a homsi went to his shami friend to let the shami teach him how to let girls go with him so the shami took the homsi to a place where there are many girls and then the shami said"who ever can know the number i'm thinking on will go with me " one girl said "5" the shami said "true, come with me" when homsi went to homs he met some girls in the street so he asked them" who ever can know the number i'm thinking on will go with me " one girl said"11" homsi said " no 5"
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By: Yakoub
these 3 men died and went to heaven. before they entered the golden gate the angel ask the first person how many times have you cheated on your wife the guy said to be honest 10 times the angel said thats not good for that u have to drive this tarago around heaven the angel asked the next guy how many times he cheated on his wife the guy replied 3 times the angel replied for that you have to drive this mercedes benz around heaven the angel asked the last guy how many times he cheated on his wife the guy said none the angel was happy so he gave him a brand new ferrari to drive around heaven but then he burst into tears the angel said whats wrong the guy said i saw my wife rollerskating around heaven hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
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these 3 men died and went to heaven. before they entered the golden gate the angel ask the first person how many times have you cheated on your wife the guy said to be honest 10 times the angel said thats not good for that u have to drive this tarago around heaven the angel asked the next guy how many times he cheated on his wife the guy replied 3 times the angel replied for that you have to drive this mercedes benz around heaven the angel asked the last guy how many times he cheated on his wife the guy said none the angel was happy so he gave him a brand new ferrari to drive around heaven but then he burst into tears the angel said whats wrong the guy said i saw my wife rollerskating around heaven hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
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By: Omar
Two guys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions.
The first guy says his favourite position is the "rodeo." The other guy
asks what the position is, and how to do it? The first guy says, "You
tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy
style. Once things start to get under way and she's really enjoying it,
lean forward and whisper in her ear, 'Your sister likes this position,
too...' Then try to hang on for 8 seconds."
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Two guys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions.
The first guy says his favourite position is the "rodeo." The other guy
asks what the position is, and how to do it? The first guy says, "You
tell your wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy
style. Once things start to get under way and she's really enjoying it,
lean forward and whisper in her ear, 'Your sister likes this position,
too...' Then try to hang on for 8 seconds."
Rate
By: Ghada.H
A woman who's playing Golf lost the golf ball in the woods that is by the Golf Course, getting the ball back, she found a frog trapped in a net. The frog said to her " If you free me I'll make 3 of your wishes come true" The woman freed the frog, the frog said "Oh, I forgot to tell you that any wish you make your husband will get the same thing but 3 times more than you will" It was fine with the woman. So the frog said " And what is your first wish?" The woman said " I wish to be the most beautiful woman on earth" The frog said don't forget that your husband will be 3 times more beautiful than you will be" So it was again okay with the woman. So she became the most beautiful woman on earth. Her second wish was that she become the richest person on earth. The frog reminded her again that her husband will be 3 times richer than she will be, and again she had no problem with that. Finally the frog asked her what will her last wish be, the woman said "I wish I have a minor heart attack".
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A woman who's playing Golf lost the golf ball in the woods that is by the Golf Course, getting the ball back, she found a frog trapped in a net. The frog said to her " If you free me I'll make 3 of your wishes come true" The woman freed the frog, the frog said "Oh, I forgot to tell you that any wish you make your husband will get the same thing but 3 times more than you will" It was fine with the woman. So the frog said " And what is your first wish?" The woman said " I wish to be the most beautiful woman on earth" The frog said don't forget that your husband will be 3 times more beautiful than you will be" So it was again okay with the woman. So she became the most beautiful woman on earth. Her second wish was that she become the richest person on earth. The frog reminded her again that her husband will be 3 times richer than she will be, and again she had no problem with that. Finally the frog asked her what will her last wish be, the woman said "I wish I have a minor heart attack".
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