A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Delhi. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young
woman and her grandmother.
After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks.
Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.
The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him."
The Project manager is sitting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped and hit me!"
The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"
The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!"
Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?
A blonde tried to shoot herself!
Cover charge: $15.00
Round of drinks: $23.00
Table dance: $30.00
Another round of drinks: $23.00
Couch dance and tips: $50.00
A round of shots: $34.00
Private dance in your hotel room: $300.00
Send her on her way and never have to hear her complain: priceless.
There are some things that money can't buy. For everything else, there's Mastercard.
By: teddy bear
A young polar bear walks up to his dad one day and asks, “Dad, am I a pure polar bear—you know, not part black bear, brown bear, or grizzly bear?” “Why no, son. You come from a long line of proud and strong polar bears. Why do you ask?” “Because I’m fuckin’ cold.”
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics.
A lady with a frog stuck to her head comes to the doctor's office. When the doctor asked her what's wrong the frog says, “I got something stuck to my ass!”
There was a Lebanese man, a Jewish man and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through the Province. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Lebanese man were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Jewish man had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there. The Jewish man was thinking: The Lebanese fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead. Claudia Schiffer was thinking: The Jewish fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Lebanese man and got slapped for it. And the Lebanese was thinking: This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, Ill make another kissing noise and slap the Jewish bastard again.
A little boy was on the beach with his mother and out of the blue he asks mommy mommy,why do men have round things under thier bathingsuits?his mother was embarrased so she told him they keep thier money there.an hour later he comes back and says,mommy mommy why does that guy get more money everytime he looks at you?
Student1:Guess what?The teacher gave me a kiss!
Student1:On my book
Student2:That's not a kiss it's a X
Homsi: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
Homsi: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the wierdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
Homsi #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Homsi #2: "No, who wrote it?"
Q: A homsi ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q: Why can't homsis make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
After Christmas vacation, an elementary school teacher was asking her students how they celebrated Christmas. When she got to Sammy, whose father ran a local toy store, she said, "Sammy, since you're Jewish, I guess your family didn't celebrate Christmas."
Sammy replied, "Oh yes, we did. We all held hands and danced around the cash register singing, "What A Friend We Have In Jesus."
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you..."