By: orfan ss
in one day there was one came back to his house and found a strange man with hith wife he asked him what do you doing here aaa i am from over flat he said no problem and went after 4 hours he remember there is nat flat above his one
there was a man who he loved to do sex with his wife very very much, but they had alot of children"11" and they were very poor ,they were sleeping on the ground ,so he told his wife to come to him when he would strike a match so, she agreed .night after night she got very tired from doing sex every day. one night he striked a match but she did not answer he striked and striked alot of matches but there was not any sign that she saw him ,after he finished tow box of matches the first child told the next brother:go and wake up this prostitut before he will make afire in the house.
why does the homsi man take a lighter with him to the beach???because if he has a sunburn,he will burn the sun back.hahahaha
A cute little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have
this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never
smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact I've farted at least 10
times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting
because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me
The next week the lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know
what the heck you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink
terribly". "Good," the doctor said. "Now that we've cleared up your
nose, let's work on your hearing."
a request song especially dedicated from bush to ouday:"baba fein??"...!!
By: saleem salameh
a boy asks his father: "dad whats the difference between a theory and reality?"...according to his fathers instructions the boy goes to his mom and asks" mom...a stranger came by and offered to pay 500,000$ to sleep with u...shall i tell him u agree?"...the mother says "sure"...when he posed the same question on his sister she said "no...but ill do it for 700,000$"..the boy told his father the answers above ...then his father put his hand on his son's shoulder and said "son...in theory we u have a mother and a sister...but in reality...u have two expensive whores .." :)
Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you'll make your own bed. Guest: I'll make my own bed. Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.
A DOCTOR TELLS A HOMSI, MILK IS GOOD FOR YOUR TEETH, SO WAT DOES THIS HOMSI DO??? STARTS BRUSHING HIS TEETH WITH MILK!!!!
A woman took off he jeans and threw it at her husband and said: "MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMAN!"... the husband removed his jeans threw it at her and said "WASH BOTH!"
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"
"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days."
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny Billy?"
"Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."
Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three weeks."
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.
"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over."
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry sir, but I am blind, and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakingly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."
The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the Macarroni and chesse with broccoli. Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man."
Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.
"Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?"
By: small paul
This woman is sitting in a bar, wearing some sort of tube top. She has never shaved her armpits in her entire life, so as a result, she has a thick black bush under each arm. Every 20 minutes, she raises her arm up and flags the bartender for another drink. This goes on all night. The other people in the bar see her hairy pits every time she raises her arm.
Near the end of the night, this drunk at the end of the bar says to the bartender, "Hey, I'd like to buy the ballerina a drink". The bartender replies, "She's not a ballerina. What makes you think she's a ballerina?"
The drunk says, "Any girl that can life her leg that high, has to be a ballerina!"
when do teachers where sunglasses?
when thy teach bright students
woman standing nude, looks in bedroom mirror & says to her husband !" i look horrible fat & ugly pay me a compliment". husband replies your eyesights fucking spot on.
By: shadis kitten
A Jew, an Italian, and a Greek all die and are at the gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them: You are all guilty of horrible crimes and must go to hell. He tells the Jew: you are guilty of greed. He tells the Italian: you are guilty of gluttony. He tells the Greek: you are guilty of homosexuality. He tells them all: I will let you have one more chance since God is a forgiving God. He sends them back to Earth to sin no more. The three are walking down the street together when the Italian says: Do you think he meant what he said? But just then he saw a pizzaria and yelled: Yea! Pizza! As he entered the door "POOF" he disappeared. The Jew and the Greek looked at each other in shock. They decided they had better be more careful. a few paces later, the Jew sees a dollar on the ground and bends over to pick it up. "POOF" the Greek disappears!