By: tru syria fan
yo moma is so fat, she uses the equator as her belt
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By: nadeem
doctor, ur husband needs rest and peace.here r some sleeping pills. wife;when must i give them to him?doctor;they r for u.
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By: Yuri
A 300 kilo man sees an advetisment on the street one day that garentees a program for him to lose wieght.

so the man goes to this clinic and askes the nurse about there diet programs.

the nurse tells the man that the have two diffrent programs one simple for $50 and the over which is hard for $200

feeling that this is a lie the man doesnt risk the $200 and tries the simple one.

the nurse sends him into a room where he find a naked woman tell him that if he catches her he can sleep with her...

so the man runs around following the woman and loses 5 kilos and then catches her and fucks her...

he liked the idea and told the nurse he wants to try the hard program maybe there are 5 diffrent women to fuck

he enters the room and finds a talk dark man with a penis the sive of a cucumber tell the fat " if i catch u i am going to fuck u brains out"

so the fat man runs for his life.....
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By: Amoura
A Syrian doctor wanted to go hunting, he calls his secretary HASSOUN and tells him "Ya Hassoun,
I am going hunting tomorrow,we don't want to close the clinic, I ask you to take care of our patients".

"Yes, sir......" answers Hassoun.

The doctor goes hunting and returns the next day and asks: "So Hassoun, how was your day?".

Hassoun tells him he took care of 3 patients. The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL.

"Bravo ya Hassoun, and the second one?" says the doctor

"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir" .

"Bravo, bravo ya Hassoun you're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.

"Sir, I was seated and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters like flame, she undresses herself, taking off her bra and her panties and sleeps on the table and shouts: HELP ME since 5
years I have not seen any man!!!!!!!"

"..and what did you do ya Hassoun?" asks the doctor

"I put eye drops in her eyes"!!!!
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By: Khawaja!
Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date...
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By: Khawaja!
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
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By: Khawaja!
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
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By: Khawaja!
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
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By: Khawaja!
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
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By: Khawaja!
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
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By: Chakkour
TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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By: Chakkour
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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By: Chakkour
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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By: Chakkour
TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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By: Chakkour
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: is...*
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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