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Jokes Sorted by Rate (793 Available)
By: Ramia Kamaria
A Homsi went to a zoo one day and saw all of the animals in the zoo laughing except for the donkey.
The next day he went back to the zoo. But this time the donkey was laughing and all the rest of the animals were quiet. The Homsi was confused.
He went to a worker and asked him "how come yeaterday all the animals were laughing and the donkey was quiet and today the donkey is laughing but all the other animals are quiet". The zookeeper replied "yesterday the monkey told a joke and the animals laughed, donkeys are just a little slow."
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A Homsi went to a zoo one day and saw all of the animals in the zoo laughing except for the donkey.
The next day he went back to the zoo. But this time the donkey was laughing and all the rest of the animals were quiet. The Homsi was confused.
He went to a worker and asked him "how come yeaterday all the animals were laughing and the donkey was quiet and today the donkey is laughing but all the other animals are quiet". The zookeeper replied "yesterday the monkey told a joke and the animals laughed, donkeys are just a little slow."
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By: Lu'ay
Why does a coke bottle seem to sweat when taken out of the fridge?...because it knows it's going to get 'opened'
(Leish aneenat il cola bti3ra' lama btittalla3 min il barrad?...la'no 3rfanay halha hatinfitih ;)
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Why does a coke bottle seem to sweat when taken out of the fridge?...because it knows it's going to get 'opened'
(Leish aneenat il cola bti3ra' lama btittalla3 min il barrad?...la'no 3rfanay halha hatinfitih ;)
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By: Y2k
Their was an amarican boy With a orange. A chines boy with an apple and a Homsie with A nuculer sTink Bomb. The 1st Boy WAs crying A man asked y
r u crying?? He said "I got hit with an apple." The old man asked the 2nd boy y r u crying. He said I got hit with an orange. He went to the homsie boy y r u lafing little boy???? coz I FARTED AND BLEW UP THE BUILDING BEHIND ME!!!! LoL
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Their was an amarican boy With a orange. A chines boy with an apple and a Homsie with A nuculer sTink Bomb. The 1st Boy WAs crying A man asked y
r u crying?? He said "I got hit with an apple." The old man asked the 2nd boy y r u crying. He said I got hit with an orange. He went to the homsie boy y r u lafing little boy???? coz I FARTED AND BLEW UP THE BUILDING BEHIND ME!!!! LoL
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By: Ali ibrahim
There was this Asian lady married to an
English gentleman and they lived in London.
The poor lady was not very proficient in
English, but managed to
communicate with her husband.
The real problem arose whenever she had to
shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted
to buy chicken legs.
She didn't know how to put forward her
request, and in desperation,
lifted up her skirt to show her thighs.
The butcher got the message and the lady went
home with chicken legs.
The next day, she needed to get chicken
breasts. Again, she didn't
know how say it, and so she unbuttoned her
blouse to show the
butcher her breast. The lady got what she
wanted.
The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy
sausages.
Unable to find a way to communicate this, she
brought her husband to
the store... (Please scroll the page down)
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There was this Asian lady married to an
English gentleman and they lived in London.
The poor lady was not very proficient in
English, but managed to
communicate with her husband.
The real problem arose whenever she had to
shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted
to buy chicken legs.
She didn't know how to put forward her
request, and in desperation,
lifted up her skirt to show her thighs.
The butcher got the message and the lady went
home with chicken legs.
The next day, she needed to get chicken
breasts. Again, she didn't
know how say it, and so she unbuttoned her
blouse to show the
butcher her breast. The lady got what she
wanted.
The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy
sausages.
Unable to find a way to communicate this, she
brought her husband to
the store... (Please scroll the page down)
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By: tariqalkharfan
how did the homsi get a wide lip?.......becouse his mother use to play with his mouth with a SLIPPER
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how did the homsi get a wide lip?.......becouse his mother use to play with his mouth with a SLIPPER
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By: funmaker
Q why dois the african black woman have three breasts ? A tow for milk , one for chocalte.
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Q why dois the african black woman have three breasts ? A tow for milk , one for chocalte.
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By: marwa lazkani
once a homsi went to the beach and he took a ladder and a stick with him why? Because if the sun hits him he will clime on to the ladder and hits it with the stick back.
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once a homsi went to the beach and he took a ladder and a stick with him why? Because if the sun hits him he will clime on to the ladder and hits it with the stick back.
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By: MoOon
An elderly woman rushed up the stairs to the church, late for the wedding. An usher asked to see her invitation.
"I don't have one," she said.
"Well then, are you a friend of the groom?"
"I should say not," snapped the woman, "I'm the bride's mother!"
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An elderly woman rushed up the stairs to the church, late for the wedding. An usher asked to see her invitation.
"I don't have one," she said.
"Well then, are you a friend of the groom?"
"I should say not," snapped the woman, "I'm the bride's mother!"
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By: BlackWiseTiger
The Boy Said To The Girl : Can I Hold Ur Hands .
The Girl Answered Him : No Thanks They Are Not Heavy I Can Handle Them .
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The Boy Said To The Girl : Can I Hold Ur Hands .
The Girl Answered Him : No Thanks They Are Not Heavy I Can Handle Them .
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By: eddibers
2 men were walking down the street when they finally meet each other. They recognized the other, and started talking and saying hi. the first man said "look. i have a porblem. my job is to run 100 meters each day at work. but everyday, the shoes i wear all become dirty and useless. so i have to buy a new pair everyday. What do you think i should do?" so the second man said" i know; instead of taking 200 steps each day, why don't do take larger steps so you only have to take 100 big steps?" the first man agreed and after 6 months they met again. the first man said
"thanks for that idea. it really worked! but now i have another problem: i have to buy a new pair of pants each day!"
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2 men were walking down the street when they finally meet each other. They recognized the other, and started talking and saying hi. the first man said "look. i have a porblem. my job is to run 100 meters each day at work. but everyday, the shoes i wear all become dirty and useless. so i have to buy a new pair everyday. What do you think i should do?" so the second man said" i know; instead of taking 200 steps each day, why don't do take larger steps so you only have to take 100 big steps?" the first man agreed and after 6 months they met again. the first man said
"thanks for that idea. it really worked! but now i have another problem: i have to buy a new pair of pants each day!"
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By: Khokha
Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"
"What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"
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Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"
"What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"
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By: MU
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
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A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
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By: Julius Ceasar
A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead. "I'm afraid he died last week", she explains. The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss."I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week" The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
he replied laughing : Coz, I just love hearing that ..."
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A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead. "I'm afraid he died last week", she explains. The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss."I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week" The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
he replied laughing : Coz, I just love hearing that ..."
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By: Fady
What's the definition of the bravest man in the world??
The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of Perfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says: "You're next, fatty."
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What's the definition of the bravest man in the world??
The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of Perfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says: "You're next, fatty."
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