By: Marwan K.H.
> > > Abu El Abed was telling his friends about his trip
> > to California. He told them how much he loved it,
> > "The beoble are so nice beoble and so religious,
> > they give all their cities saints names, San
> > Francisco, San Diego, San Jose, Imagine they loved
> > me so much they gave me a saint's name. They called
> > me "San Ofabitch".
By: Marwan K.H.
This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Helpdesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause. Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee now I know why they record these conversations! ;)
"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect"
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged in to the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer."
A true story, this guy was fired
Abo el 3abed won lottery ticket... and decided to take his wife im el 3abed a tour in the helicopter... after 30 mins Abo el 3abed tells the pilot:"Can you turn the fan off, cause we feel so cold.
Once there was a guy who saw a girl eating an ice cream cone. So he walked up to her and said, "miss, I'm going to ask you a question, but I don't want you to misunderstand me"
The girl replied, "ok, what is it?"
The guy says, "may I have a lick?"
"Sure," she says, and extends the ice cream cone to him.
"No," he replied smiling, "you misunderstood!"
Why did the Homsi miss his doctors appointment?? Because he was sick!
why does the homsi take a car door everytime he goes to the desert?......so he can open the window if it gets too hott..haha
2 guys are sitting down and the one guy says to his friend..." did you know that there were 5000 people lined up infront of my door last week b/c my mother-in-law was kicked by a donkey and died..." so his friend says " oh my god all these people loved your mother-in-law" so the other guy said " no they came to my house to buy the donkey" haha
Queen Elizabeth, George Bush and Mubarak died and went all to hell. Queen Elizabeth said: I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there.... she called and talked for about 5 Minutes...then she said: well, devil, how much do I owe you???? The devil goes: five million dollars...five million dollars!!! She wrote him a cheque and went back to sit on her chair.... George Bush was soo jealous, he starts screaming, me too I wanna call the United States, I wanna see how everybody is doing too...he called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he said: well, devil how much do I owe you???? The devil goes: ten million dollars..... Ten million dollars!!!!!! He wrote him a cheque and went back to sit on his chair..... Mubarak was extremely jealous too...he starts screaming and screaming, I wanna call Egypt too, I wanna see how everybody is doing there too, I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody..... He called Egypt and he talked for about twenty hours, he was talking and talking and talking.... then he said: well, devil how much do I owe you???? The devil goes: one dollar..... Only one dollar!!!!! Queen Elizabeth and Bush exclaim in agony, why only one dollar? The devil goes: well, from hell to hell it's a local call
By: Georges Douaihy
What is the difference between The Titanic and Hayfa Wehbe ?????????????????????/
The number of men on Titanic was known, but Hayfa noooo.
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in nanimated conversation.The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hearsone of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more.Two asses, they come together again. I come again and peetwice. Then I come one lasta time.""You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In thiscountry we don't talk about our sex lives in public!""Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin'abouta sexa?I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'.
A homsi found a bottle, once he opened it a genie popped out, The genie granted the homsi one wish, the Homsi said ok i wish for a house, the genie replied are u stupid ? if i had a house would i live in this bottle?
By: moe El boury
A homsi ordered a pizza then the clerk said do you want me to cut it into 6 or 12 pieces then the homsi said 6 i could never eat 12.
By: Moe El Boury
Once a homsi went into an antique store and asked the clerk ..What's new?....hahaha
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?
The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay, " says the lawyer, "your turn".
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
Why did the homsi keep his condom on for 9 months after having sex?
To make sure she wasn't pregnant.