A young boy asks his Dad, 'What is the difference between confident and confidential?'
Dad says, 'You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential!'
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You're beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You're cute!” Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’? His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”
what is the difference between a wife and a job? A job would still suck after 2 years!!
woman standing nude, looks in bedroom mirror & says to her husband !" i look horrible fat & ugly pay me a compliment". husband replies your eyesights fucking spot on.
there was a chinies person and a american person and a humus person and they were on an airplane and the chiniese person through a penny of the airplane and the americam person through a nickle of the airplane finally the person hated his country so mutch he through a bomb so the chiniese person saw a little boy crying because some one throurh a penny on my head then the american person saw a little boy crying and he said someone through a nickel on my head then the humuse person found a little boy crying and he said why because dady farted and blew up the house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
By: Diane E
Homsi #1, I went online and had a chat with Bill Clinton.
Homsi #2 Really, what does he sound like?
By: Elie AGA
One day a Homsi was feeling so hungry, so he decided to enter to a fast food restaurant, when he entered he read a paper that says Fish Burger so after thinking he said to himself "oh well" turned around and left hungry
One day, a blonde left work early to go home and suprise her husband with a big dinner. When she got home she saw her husband's car in the drive way and thought "Aw, shoot there goes my suprise."
When she got inside, she heard something coming from her bedroom. She looked in and saw her husband humping her sister.
She ran out of her house and went to a sporting goods store. After buying a gun she went home and ran into her backyard. She pulled out her gun put it to her head and let out a shrill scream.
Her husband ran outside and saw his wife with the gun and said, "Honey, please don't do it!"
The blonde screamed, "Shut up asshole, you're next!"
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT what kind of a salary he was looking for.
"In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
"Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years...say, a red Corvette?"
"Wow! Are you kidding?"
"Yeah, but you started it."
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St.Peters Square .
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men gave her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breasts, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God !!!! "
On the sixth day God turned to the Angels and said: " Today I am going to create a land called Syria. It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall majestic mountains full of snow, beautifully sparkly rivers cutting through forests full of all kind of trees, high cliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life."
God continued, "I shall make the land rich to make the inhabitants prosper. I shall call these inhabitants Syrians, and they shall be known as the most friendly people on Earth"
"But Lord," asked the Angels, "don't you think you are being too generous to these Syrians? Isn't it unfair for the rest of the world?"
"Not really," replied God. "Just wait and see the neighbors I am going to give them."
A Homsi went to burger king saying,"Can i have a cheese burger without cheese
a child asked his father why is the sky blue ?
father replies you idiot you don't know? you are one heck of a dum boy!
then he asks his father why do the fishes live in water? father replies you idiot you don't even know why? if you ask a dunky he will give you the aswear !
after one hour the son goes and say sorry to his father his father replies: don't worry you can ask as much as you want peopole learn from their questions!
(come on it was funny i bet i'll get a 10!)
A girl asked her Homsi (Syrian) boyfriend:
"Habibi, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"
Sure replied the Homsi. "What's your phone number?