By: Fadi T.
You have just received a Homsi virus. Since we are not so technologically advanced in Homs, this is a MANUAL virus. Please delete all the files on your hard disk yourself and send this email to everyone you know.
Why did the journalist condemn the jokes section of Souria.com?
B/C he was homsi!
Why is this joke funny?
B/c its not homsi-get it, the topic is jokes not homsi jokes-duhhhh!
By: Fadi T.
A Homsi and a Shami were about to depart together in the same double-decker bus from Damascus to Allepo. The Shami goes to the bottom level and the Homsi goes to the top of the bus. An hour into the journey, the Homsi shouts down to the Shami and asks him how long till he'll get to Allepo. The Shami says that they've been on the road for an hour already so it won't be long till they get there. Surprised, the Homsi says "You're so lucky, our driver isn't even here yet!
By: Jehad Rahima
A defence minister was coming to visit Syria once and our defence Minister was telling our honour guard soldier to fire 21 shots once the guest appears from the plane,
a Homsi soldier asked him, "Sir what if I hit him from the first shot shall we continue shooting".
A Homsi and a Palestinian got married, the outcome was a child that throws stones backwards.
By: Diane E
Why does the homsi want to work in Disney world?
Because he is so Goofy.
By: Diane E
Homsi #1, I went online and had a chat with Bill Clinton.
Homsi #2 Really, what does he sound like?
By: Diane E
A homsi is traveling alone and is lost. He finally sees a farmer and asked for directions. The farmer said, I'd like to help you but unless you know where you are going, I can't tell you
Q:why does a Homsi take a scruedriver with him to go fishing
A: He might need it
By: Frank G
An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert, without finding a source of water it gets so bad that his camel dies of thirst. He is crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last breath when all of a sudden he sees a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers that he has a Manischewitz wine bottle. It appears that there may be a drop or two left in the bottle, so he unscrews the top and out pops a genie - - - But this is no ordinary genie! This genie appears to be a Chasidic Rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, etc.,
"Well kid," says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes."
"I'm not going to trust you," says the Arab. "I'm not going to trust a Jewish genie!"
"What have you got to lose? It looks like you're a goner anyway!"
The Arab thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.
"Okay, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food and drink."
POOF! The Arab finds himself in the most beautiful oasis has ever seen and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
"Okay kid, what's your second wish?"
"My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."
POOF! The Arab finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
"Okay kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"
After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab says,"I wish that no matter where I go beautiful women will always need and want me!!!
POOF! He turned into a tampon.
THE MORAL OF THE STORY:If you do business with a Jewish genie, there's going to be a string attached
All the Arab leaders had a meeting to unit all the arab country into one big nation but they could not find a flag so they cancelled the project.
By: Hussain Hadi
A Homsi went to an Arabic Restaurant and asked the owner "do you have 500 Falafel sandwiches?" The owner replied, "no I don't have that much Falafel sandwiches ready, would like to wait and I'll make'em for you" The Homsi replied, "no and left" The Homsi repeated that for 4 days. The fifth day the owner said to him self " what da hell why don't I make these sandwiches ready so when this guy comes I'll sell it to him and make some money, so he made 500 Falafel sandwiches. The Homsi guy comes again and askes the owner "do you have 500 Falafel sandwiches?" The owner replied, "yes sir I do" The Homsi guy goes like wowwwwwwww thats plenty of Falafel :))))
A Homsi woman went to the department store. She asked the salesman, "How much is that TV?" He replied, "I'm not going to sell it to you." Puzzled, she went and got her hair done and changed clothes. She came back and asked him again the price of the TV, getting the same response. So she got her hair died and came back. Again when she inquired about the TV he replied that he wouldn't sell it to her. So she bought a hat and sunglasses and a fake moustache. The man said, "I am STILL not going to sell it to you!". Taking off her glasses she asked him, "How do you know it's me???"
The salesman responded, "Because that's not a TV. It's a microwave
By: Hussain Hadi
Q: Why did the Homsi put a bowl of salad on top of the T.V.
A: So he will have a coloured T.V.