By: Imad Khawaja
Blondie enters a store that sell curtains. She tells the salesman, "I
would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assured her that they had a large selection of pink
curtains. He showed her several patterns, but the blond seemed to be having
a hard time choosing.
Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains she needed.
The blonde replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room
are they for?"
The blonde tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for her
The surprised salesman replies, "But, Miss, computers do not have
Blondie says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
ok a mexican guy and a black guy is in a car. who is driving????????????????????????????//
The man from Homs was visiting the Golden Beach. He was enjoying the ocean view with several of his friends. He was concentrating very hard and grew very quiet. His friends asked him what he was thinking so hard about and he exclaimed "I wonder if the ocean was Laban "Yogurt", how many Kebbi would fit in it".
Nobody is ever satisfied, Poor men wish they were rich, Rich men wish they were handsome, Bachelors wish they were married & Married men wish they were Dead!
Wife: If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to come in your mind?
Husband: That you are a lesbian?
By: bin laden's brother
one day, a son goes up to his father and says "dad? is god man or a woman?" and his dad says, "both son." The next day, the son comes up to his father and asks "dad? Is god black or white?" and his dad goes "both son."
The next day the son comes up to his dad and goes "dad? Is god Micheal Jackson?" haha
By: Ziad Shmali
A scientist went to tour the Jungle of the Amazon. he lost his way back and he got caught by a savage, human eaters tribe. They took him to their camp so their Chief will decide what to do with him. When the Chief saw him he ordered his people to lit up the fire so they can grill him and eat him. The scientist start begging them to let him go back to his family and kept yelling : " Please let me go back to my family...Please .. please ...please ". here the Chief changed his mind and told the Scientist: " we will set you free if you do three things , but if you fail we will eat you". " Yeah .. ok " replied the Scientist : what are they???. The Chief said : First you have to drink that full Barrel of Beer until you finish the last drop of it . - Ok.. what's next? secondly, The Chief continued: inside that tent there is a lion with a tooth pain where he couldn't eat at all for the last six months , so you are required to take the infected teeth of his mouth.- " Goodness me " replied the Scientist asking: Ok.. what is the third request"- The Chief continued : last thing , in the other tent, there is a woman of 90 years of age who never had sex in her life, you have to make love to her until she got orgasm"...
At this stage, the Scientist find himself in no other choice. So he started drinking the Beer until he finshed the whole barrel ending up completly drunk. : Ok .. said the Scientist , where is the tent of that Lion. They pushed him into the tent where for over an hour and a half they kept hearing noises & screams . suddenly The scientist comes out with a full blood over his body and everyone got surprised that he comes out alive than he asked them : OK now... where is that old lady with the tooth pain ????
By: ram da lam
Once upon a time, there was a homsi in the desert, he found a lamp he picked it up and whiped it . A genie came out, told him that he have one repquest. " i want u to build a bridge from damascus to new york" said the homsi "its kinda hard ,dont u have anything else" replied the genie" finally the homsi said"i want u to make all the people from homs intelligent" the genie was really suprised so he said" u want the bridge with light lamps for night"
What is the only similarity between the clothing store and Michael Jackson?
Boys pants - half off! lol
a teacher was teaching her KG students what honey is.. she got some honey to class and asked her students to taste the honey in order to identify it but it was useless.. so she told them she would give them hints.. she said: it is what ur dad calls ur mom at home.. a girl suddenly shouted in horror.. spit them, they are assholes... :))))
By: bin laden
whos the championchip in hide and seek all over the world? WHO? GUESS? osama bin laden hahah
Who woz da fastest runner in da world?
.... Adam, he came first in da human race!
By: Sirine khoury
there is a black vegetable in the salad.What is it?a TOMATO.but if i say to u that it's red u'll quicklly know the answer.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
By: Simon Says:
Ways to be thrown out of Chemistry Lab :
1. Deny the existence of chemicals.
2. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as 'KKK.'
3. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you ?"
4. Mutter repeatedly, Not again... not again... not again.
5. When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, My eyes!
6. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.
7. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he or she says it.
8. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid.
By: pool boy
A linguistics professor was lecturing to her class one day.
"In English," she said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."