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Jokes Sorted by Rate (793 Available)
By: zohair ajlani
There Once was a guy and his dad died. his friend came over for sympathy and then asked him "how did your dad die?" and the guy says that he was crossing the street and a car ran into him. His friend was like "oh my god i am so sorry" then the guy says "but that isnt how he died". His friend then asked "then how did he die?" the guy goes "he went mountain climbing and his rope got cut off" his frind goes "oh my god i am so sorry" then the guy says "but that isnt how he dies" then his friend asked "then how did he die?" the guy says that he he took a trip to france and got in a plane crash. his friend goes "oh my god i am so sorry" then they guy says "...he was the only guy who survived the plane crash...then the friend asks "then how did he die?" then the guy goes "he wouldnt die from all the things that happened to him that we had to shoot him"
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There Once was a guy and his dad died. his friend came over for sympathy and then asked him "how did your dad die?" and the guy says that he was crossing the street and a car ran into him. His friend was like "oh my god i am so sorry" then the guy says "but that isnt how he died". His friend then asked "then how did he die?" the guy goes "he went mountain climbing and his rope got cut off" his frind goes "oh my god i am so sorry" then the guy says "but that isnt how he dies" then his friend asked "then how did he die?" the guy says that he he took a trip to france and got in a plane crash. his friend goes "oh my god i am so sorry" then they guy says "...he was the only guy who survived the plane crash...then the friend asks "then how did he die?" then the guy goes "he wouldnt die from all the things that happened to him that we had to shoot him"
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By: steve mclaw
One time a lebnani, a syrian and a jew were on a boat sailing when they saw pirates. So they all ran and hid in bags. when the pirates came on the ship they saw these three bags and kicked the first one, the leb said meow meow. so they went onto the next one,kicked it and the syrian said woof woof. the pirates didnt want to kill animals so they went onto the next one and kicked it, the jew said patatoes patatoes.
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One time a lebnani, a syrian and a jew were on a boat sailing when they saw pirates. So they all ran and hid in bags. when the pirates came on the ship they saw these three bags and kicked the first one, the leb said meow meow. so they went onto the next one,kicked it and the syrian said woof woof. the pirates didnt want to kill animals so they went onto the next one and kicked it, the jew said patatoes patatoes.
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By: saleem salameh
a boy asks his father: "dad whats the difference between a theory and reality?"...according to his fathers instructions the boy goes to his mom and asks" mom...a stranger came by and offered to pay 500,000$ to sleep with u...shall i tell him u agree?"...the mother says "sure"...when he posed the same question on his sister she said "no...but ill do it for 700,000$"..the boy told his father the answers above ...then his father put his hand on his son's shoulder and said "son...in theory we u have a mother and a sister...but in reality...u have two expensive whores .." :)
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a boy asks his father: "dad whats the difference between a theory and reality?"...according to his fathers instructions the boy goes to his mom and asks" mom...a stranger came by and offered to pay 500,000$ to sleep with u...shall i tell him u agree?"...the mother says "sure"...when he posed the same question on his sister she said "no...but ill do it for 700,000$"..the boy told his father the answers above ...then his father put his hand on his son's shoulder and said "son...in theory we u have a mother and a sister...but in reality...u have two expensive whores .." :)
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By: GS
All the Arab leaders had a meeting to unit all the arab country into one big nation but they could not find a flag so they cancelled the project.
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All the Arab leaders had a meeting to unit all the arab country into one big nation but they could not find a flag so they cancelled the project.
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By: Maximus
A blonde and a brunette walk past a flower shop and see the brunette's boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again. Now, I'll be expected to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"
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A blonde and a brunette walk past a flower shop and see the brunette's boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again. Now, I'll be expected to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"
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By: Anooooooos Ksaybi
There was a homsy guy walking in the street, he saw a statue at the top of the building and liked it. A guy passed by and asked if the homsy wanted to buy it. Tht Homsy agreed and gave the guy 2000 layras, the guy said to the homsy to wait for him until he got a ladder and ran away. The Homsy waited but no one came. He went back to homs and told his friends wat happened. one friend had a brilliant idea. he went to the statue and looked at it until the same guy came to seel it to him . the homsy guy bought the statue. The guy said that he was going to get the ladder. the smart homsi stopped him and said: no, no, no, i will get the ladder
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha lol
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There was a homsy guy walking in the street, he saw a statue at the top of the building and liked it. A guy passed by and asked if the homsy wanted to buy it. Tht Homsy agreed and gave the guy 2000 layras, the guy said to the homsy to wait for him until he got a ladder and ran away. The Homsy waited but no one came. He went back to homs and told his friends wat happened. one friend had a brilliant idea. he went to the statue and looked at it until the same guy came to seel it to him . the homsy guy bought the statue. The guy said that he was going to get the ladder. the smart homsi stopped him and said: no, no, no, i will get the ladder
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha lol
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By: Dina
Three Wise men were going to heaven, but before that, they each had to answer a question from God. The first Wise Man came up and God asked him, "Who was the first man on earth?" He answered Adam and was let in. The second Wise Man came up and God asked him, "Who was the first women on earth?" He answered Eve and was let in. The thrid Wise Man came up and God asked, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" He thought for a moment, "Hmm, that's a hard one..." And God said, you may be let into Heaven.
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Three Wise men were going to heaven, but before that, they each had to answer a question from God. The first Wise Man came up and God asked him, "Who was the first man on earth?" He answered Adam and was let in. The second Wise Man came up and God asked him, "Who was the first women on earth?" He answered Eve and was let in. The thrid Wise Man came up and God asked, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" He thought for a moment, "Hmm, that's a hard one..." And God said, you may be let into Heaven.
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By: standard star
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her it is still experimental and tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner. So, that night at dinner, she does. About a week later she's back at the doctor. She says, "Doc, the pill worked great!! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes and he jumps up, rakes all the food and dishes on the floor, grabs me, rips all my clothes off and ravages me right
there on the table!" The doctor says, "I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was that
strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Naah... ", she says, "that's okay. We aren't going back to that
Restaurant anyway."
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A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her it is still experimental and tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner. So, that night at dinner, she does. About a week later she's back at the doctor. She says, "Doc, the pill worked great!! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes and he jumps up, rakes all the food and dishes on the floor, grabs me, rips all my clothes off and ravages me right
there on the table!" The doctor says, "I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was that
strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Naah... ", she says, "that's okay. We aren't going back to that
Restaurant anyway."
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By: the d'oohka
Three British gentlemen, one from Ireland, one from Wales and the other from England found them selves lost in the jungle in zimbabwe. Not before too long they strayed into the hands of a primitive tribe of 300 black men and their leader 'Tibombo'. The British men were extremely terrified. Tibombo shouted to each man in turn 'you have 2 options. either you DIE HERE or you may take WONGA'. The 3 men were all trembling at this point. The first guy, from Wales said ' please! i don't want to die...i'll take the wonga'. Tibombo made a hand signal and the 300 tribal men all attacked the poor man savagly and had sex with his bottom. The poor chap staggered off traumatized into the jungle. the second chap, from Ireland said 'god help me, and bless my bottom to survive this terrible fate..i dont want to die, i'll take the wonga too' so the 300 tribesmen gave him the wonga. The third man from England, lookng down on his countrymen and thinking that wonga was too degrading a zimbabween' punishment said to Tibombo ' I WOULD RATHER DIE FOR MY QUEEN AND COUNTRY THAN HAVE YOUR WONGA LIKE THESE FOOLS' so tibombo turned to his men and said 'kill the English man with wonga'
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Three British gentlemen, one from Ireland, one from Wales and the other from England found them selves lost in the jungle in zimbabwe. Not before too long they strayed into the hands of a primitive tribe of 300 black men and their leader 'Tibombo'. The British men were extremely terrified. Tibombo shouted to each man in turn 'you have 2 options. either you DIE HERE or you may take WONGA'. The 3 men were all trembling at this point. The first guy, from Wales said ' please! i don't want to die...i'll take the wonga'. Tibombo made a hand signal and the 300 tribal men all attacked the poor man savagly and had sex with his bottom. The poor chap staggered off traumatized into the jungle. the second chap, from Ireland said 'god help me, and bless my bottom to survive this terrible fate..i dont want to die, i'll take the wonga too' so the 300 tribesmen gave him the wonga. The third man from England, lookng down on his countrymen and thinking that wonga was too degrading a zimbabween' punishment said to Tibombo ' I WOULD RATHER DIE FOR MY QUEEN AND COUNTRY THAN HAVE YOUR WONGA LIKE THESE FOOLS' so tibombo turned to his men and said 'kill the English man with wonga'
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By: peers
Your so poor when i came to your house a rat jumped me and 2 cockaroaches stole my wallet.
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Your so poor when i came to your house a rat jumped me and 2 cockaroaches stole my wallet.
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By: Syriian Princezz
A man comes running to the doctor shouting & screaming in pain "Please doctor you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee."
DOCTOR: "Don't worry; I'll put some cream on it."
MAN: "You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."
DOCTOR: "No you don't understand! I'll put some cream on the place you were
stung."
MAN: "Oh! it happened in the garden where I was sitting under a tree"
DOCTOR (in anger): "No, no you IDIOT! I mean on which part of your body did
that bee sting."
MAN (still screaming in pain): "On my finger! The bee stung me on my finger
and it really hurts"
DOCTOR (banging his fist, abusing and shouting): "Which one?"
MAN (innocently): "How am i to know? All bees look the same to me."
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A man comes running to the doctor shouting & screaming in pain "Please doctor you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee."
DOCTOR: "Don't worry; I'll put some cream on it."
MAN: "You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."
DOCTOR: "No you don't understand! I'll put some cream on the place you were
stung."
MAN: "Oh! it happened in the garden where I was sitting under a tree"
DOCTOR (in anger): "No, no you IDIOT! I mean on which part of your body did
that bee sting."
MAN (still screaming in pain): "On my finger! The bee stung me on my finger
and it really hurts"
DOCTOR (banging his fist, abusing and shouting): "Which one?"
MAN (innocently): "How am i to know? All bees look the same to me."
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By: nomikler
john pulled out 6 people from a burning house but was still jailed. why? because all the six were firebrigade staff...
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john pulled out 6 people from a burning house but was still jailed. why? because all the six were firebrigade staff...
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By: c@$h
ur mama is so stupid one time she was locked in a supermarket and she starved to death....
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ur mama is so stupid one time she was locked in a supermarket and she starved to death....
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