By: Hussain Hadi
Q: Why did the Homsi put a bowl of salad on top of the T.V.
A: So he will have a coloured T.V.
Q: What is the difference btwn. Bill Clinton and a Homsi?
A: A Homsi knows how to smoke a cigar!
Abu El Abed, the Manager of HMO
As a manager of a major Health Maintenance Organization (HMO), Abu El Abed (AA) found himself at the mercy of Saint Peter (SP) when he died. His two buddies, Abu Steif (AS) and Abu Zakaria (AZ), were also there.
Saint Peter: Ya Abu Steif, leish bitfakker inno btistahel tfoot 3ala al janneh? (Why do you think you deserve to enter into heaven?)
Abu Steif: Imshan ana kent tabeeb (Doctor) wa as3afet nas kteir. (Because I was a doctor and I saved lots of lives)
SP: ra7h khallik tfoot, tfadthal (you deserve passage, come right in)
SP: Ya Abu Zakariah, leish bitfakker inno btistahel tfoot 3ala al janneh? (Why do you believe that you deserve entrance to heaven?)
Abu Zakariah: Imshan ana kent mu7hamy wa angazet nas bare'a min el 3adam (Because I was an attorney and I saved a lot of innocent victims from the death penalty)
SP: Bheillak tfoot, tfadthal (You deserve passage, come right in)
SP: Ya Abu El Abed, leish bitfakker innak btistahel tfoot 3ala el janneh? (Why do you think you deserve passage into heaven?)
Abu El Abed: Imshan ana kent mas'ool 3an as3ar el teb wal mustashfayat (because as an HMO consultant I was in charge of keeping medical expenses to a minimum and hospital costs down)
SP: Bi7i2ilak tfoot, bas tlat iyyam (You deserve to come in, but only for three days)
Q:y does a giraf have such a long neck?A:bcoz its head is so far from its body,,,!! akh haha
By: FOUAD BASRAWI
why the homsi put his mobil phone out of the window?
because he is waiting out call
Q: Why did the Homsi place two cups of water on top of his television?
A: Because he wanted to see the Bahrain.
There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish confessing to adultery.
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"
Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say instead that they had 'fallen.'
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at a ripe old age.
A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.
"Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they've fallen."
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. But, before he could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and shouted, "I don't know what you're laughing about, because your wife has fallen three times this week!"
A woman was in bed with her lover
when she heard her husband
opening the front door.
'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'
She rubbed baby oil all over him,
then dusted him with talcum powder.
'Don't move until I tell you,'
she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'
'What's this?' the husband inquired
as he entered the room.
'Oh it's a statue,' she replied.
'The Smiths bought one and I liked it
so I got one for us, too.'
No more was said,
not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up,
went to the kitchen and returned
with a sandwich and a beer.
'Here,' he said to the statue, have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths
and nobody offered me a damned thing.'
how does the homsi turn pages over
by licking his left thump and turning with his right thump
By: Diane E
Why does a homsi wear a suit jacket with shoulder pads?
In case he bumped his shoulders.
How does a homsi fall in love?
I don't know but they later have several broken bones
How do you become a doctor in Homs?
You must Know that the themometer can also goes in your mouth. Just wash it first.
What do american blondes and homsi's have in common?
Neither one is smart enough to figure that out.
By: Walter Alomar
Once upon a time, an old man called his younger son for a trek to the mountains. Before they started the old man said: "When we finish this voyage you will know the lessons of life".
So, they reached this wonderfull place and the old man said: "Please, climb to the top of the rock and leap to your father arms, believe me, I will wait for you". The son faithfully complies, but just when the kid leaped, the old man stepped to the side. As a result the kid landed heavily on the rocks.
The old man approached his son and said: "My son this was the first lesson in life, do not even trust in your father..."
Student1:Guess what?The teacher gave me a kiss!
Student1:On my book
Student2:That's not a kiss it's a X